Aioli Kills 13 in Florida

aioliA new and dangerous pathogen has reared its head in Miami, Florida this week, leaving authorities scrambling to find answers and solutions. It may be too late however, as Aioli, a rare and extremely deadly virus has already claimed the lives of 13 people in Miami since its discovery on Wednesday. While authorities have been on high alert for Ebola cases, it seems as though Aioli has slipped in the back door and taken everyone by surprise.

Of the 23 patients checked in to Miami area hospitals for Ebola-like symptoms since Wednesday, only 10 are still alive, and are currently waging a life and death battle with Aioli. “All patients were showing astronomically high Blood Garlic Content (BGC), which is what tipped us off that this was Aioli, and not Ebola as we had previously thought.”

While medical teams at Miami Children’s Hospital, St. John’s Medical Clinic, and Miami University Hospital are doing all they can to contain the deadly virus, the CDC is dispatching HAZMAT teams to proactively comb French and Italian dining establishments for other possible cases of Aioli. Among those restaurants searched were Le Bouchon de Grove, db Bistro Moderne, Ristorante Fratelli Milano and Il Gabbiano.

“At this point, we are advising people not to eat at these particular establishments, and for God’s sake, avoid anything that looks like a glorified mayonnaise,” says CDC Director Thomas Frieden.


Currently all 10 patients suspected of having Aioli are under quarantine for a 21-day monitoring period, during which time they will be put on a strict diet of seafood, croutons and boiled vegetables. Following the quarantine period, patients will be deemed “fit for release” only if all of the Aioli has had a chance to be purged from their system. Frieden worries that

“Aioli may pop up in other areas throughout the country. We have already confiscated and disposed of several hundred pounds of garlic, olive oil, lemon juice and egg yolks believed to be contaminated with Aioli. Let’s hope that does the trick.”

If you or someone you know has eaten at a French or Italian dining establishment recently, Frieden advises that you call California’s Aioli Hotline (855) 421-5921. Currently there are no other states with such a hotline. Walk-in or telephone Aioli screenings are available at most local hospitals.




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