Steve Nash Injured Carrying Bags of Cocaine Across US-Mexico Border

by Spade King, The Spade of Kings, 9:04 am EDT

Steve Nash is injured again, but details of the injury and how it happened have been vague at best. Lakers’ Coach Byron Scott comments; “Steve, today, kind of hurt his back. He had a little bit of a setback, just kind of carrying some bags or something. He [felt] a twinge in his back.”

As Spade of Kings correspondents began pressing for further clarification of phrases like “kind of hurt his back”, a “little bit of a setback” and “kind of carrying some bags or something”, details began coming into focus, and a much different picture is unraveling.
SteveSmuggles
At approximately 12 pm PDT (3 pm EDT) witnesses report seeing a man in a Steve Nash jersey bearing a strong resemblance to Nash himself running along a stretch of fence separating Ciudad Juarez from El Paso, Texas. He had something in his hand. Mexican border patrol agent Miguel Torres said he ordered the man to stop and hand over the bag, to which he allegedly replied, “You know I don’t speak Spanish,” and continued sprinting.

Nash actually does speak Spanish.

Mexican and US authorities later confirmed that the man was indeed Steve Nash. The “twinge” that he felt when he “kind of hurt his back” was actually a rubber bullet fired by Agent Torres as Nash leapt over the fence and sprinted towards El Paso. “Some bags or something” turned out to be a 5-pound bag of cocaine, and the “little bit of a setback” was $5 million bail, possible jail time, and career-ending legal woes.

Shortly after hopping the fence at Ciudad Juarez, Nash was apprehended by U.S. Border Patrol and held in custody for 48 hours. U.S. Border Patrol agent Andrew Hawkins comments, “It was pretty obvious he had no idea what he was doing. I mean no one who knows anything about smuggling wears a bright purple jersey with their name on the back and carries a bag of cocaine across the border in broad daylight.” Nash remained in custody until Assistant Coach Paul Pressey was sent to post bail.

It is unclear why Nash, currently pulling down a $9.3 million salary would feel the need to become entangled in something as unsavory as drug trafficking, but one thing is clear: Lakers’ cannot depend on Nash to finish out the season, and will likely be looking to Jeremy Lin to take his place.

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