New Study: Exercise Harmful to Adipose Tissue

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A new study conducted in early August is challenging previous misconceptions held widely throughout the health and fitness world. The study, led by Theresa Patterson, MD revealed that physical activity of any kind is likely to cause irreparable damage to your adipose tissue. Dr. Patterson warns; “You’re basically killing you’re body’s lipid stores when you go to the gym and do repetitive movements, expending needless energy.” She suggests choosing less strenuous activities such as watching TV, browsing the internet, or reading the newspaper, all of which fall safely within the ME-ME (Mere Existence-Minimal Exertion) continuum.

Snyder recognizes that there are those who have been going to the gym for so long that they may find it difficult to go cold-turkey. As an alternative she suggests continuing gym attendance, but instead of working out, sitting on the bench press and texting, checking your instagram feed, or watching a video of someone else working out. This will ensure full retainment of adipose tissue in your body.

Cellulite loss is on the rise as of 2000, with the advent of destructive trends such as crossfit, insanity, zumba and HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training). “This last one is particularly dangerous. We strongly suggest redefining HIIT as High Intensity Intake of Tacos and engaging in 3-4 HIIT exercise per week.” Dr. Patterson also advises:

  • Drinking an 8 oz glass of extra virgin olive oil twice a day.
  • Keeping some high-carb, high-glucose snacks within arms reach at all times.
  • Watching out for the silent killers like walking, swimming, or playing fetch with the dog in the backyard, none of which are ME-ME approved activities.

noMEME

 

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